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ne of the best gifts God has given us is the ability to form and enjoy relationships. These take on many types including parents and children, personal friendships, romantic and professional relationships. Unfortunately, the joy and fulfillment of these relationships come to a crashing end when a loved one dies.

As Christians, we can find hope in verses such as John 16:22 which says, “So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice and no one will take away your joy.” Jesus was speaking to his disciples, preparing them for a time when they would “weep and morn while the world rejoices.” He prefaced His words with, “I meant what I said…” (John 16:19, NIV).

Jesus knows our life will include times of intense sorrow and pain as we suffer the losses of those we love. His words did not include quick and easy ways to pray this pain away, but, as I see it, an invitation to embrace our pain and grasp onto the hope that only He offers.

Later there will come a time when no one can take away our joy. In other words, now is not forever. Moreover, forever is coming and along with it comes permanent joy!

Jesus’ words are comforting and offer us an invitation to deepen our relationship with Him, a relationship that will never end. However, on this side of Heaven, coping with loss can feel at times unbearable, especially in the event that a death happens suddenly, such as the death of a child or in cases of a suicide, just to name a few.

Reactions to grief include physical, psychological, emotional, and behavioral symptoms that include weakness, loss of energy, loss of libido, angry outbursts, difficulty concentrating, fear, guilt, loss of ability to experience pleasure, and anxiety.

If you are traveling the road through grief (and towards joy), there are some things you can do to grieve healthy:

· Share your pain: As crude as it may sound, everyone experiences loss. Grieving with someone else can prove to lessen your feelings of loneliness and help you reclaim a fulfilling life for yourself.

· Know that the healing process is progressive and will include times of regression, in other words, healing from such a loss will not happen in a straight linear manner. There will be times (ok, days) of intense sadness, and even some days of happiness.

· Give yourself permission to feel: Those who study grief have come to one firm conclusion: Grief WILL be expressed one way or another. People who grieve healthy are able to admit these feelings, feel them, and grasp onto the hope that “now is not forever.”

In the meantime,
cry when you need to cry, scream when you need to scream, and laugh (yes, laugh) when you need to laugh. Do what you need to do when you need to do it.

· Keep decision making to a minimum: Expect your judgment to be clouded for a while. If you find that significant decisions need to be made now, find a trustworthy person to consult with such as a parent, pastor, friend, counselor, or teacher.

· Give yourself time to heal: In most cases, the closer you were to the person you lost, the more pain you will experience. Healing will come, but not tomorrow.

· Seek Comfort: For some this can be especially difficult. Accept help from those you trust. Healthy grieving always involves accepting love and support from others. Doing so is human and courageous.

Remember: NOW IS NOT FOREVER!

Jason Tompkins