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any congregations have used the “pick-up” form of evangelism to give the opportunity for young people, whose parents refuse to worship, an opportunity to join the body of believers. I’m sure there are and will continue to be benefits of this decades-old idea and practice. However, I have also seen, first hand, the dangers when parents not only drop off their children or allow them to be picked up and carted off to a church building, and give up all responsibility for the spiritual growth of their children.One particular parent even went so far as to say, “You are denying my child the ability to know Christ,” after I refused to allow the very young, and misbehaving child to come to church without his parent. Another mother ran down the van that I was driving to tell me, “You have no right not to pick my child up for church! I’m going to write the congressman.”

“These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up” (Deuteronomy 6:6-7 NIV).

What is the role of parents with reference to a Deuteronomy 6:7 lifestyle?

Most parents, including Christian parents, are not knowledgeable enough in the Scriptures themselves to “teach them diligently to their children.” A passion for knowing and applying the word of God must first be found in the heart of parents and guardians, before it can be shared with others. As one wise person stated, “You can’t give what you don’t have!” I’m not suggesting that every parent is given the spiritual gift of teaching. However, a love for God’s Word should be a valuable virtue for all believers, at least enough to read Scripture and practice biblical teachings within the family.

The most effective congregations in the world have given convincing evidence, if not proof, that home churches and home-based discipleship and fellowship offer an opportunity to experience a Deuteronomy 6:7 lifestyle.  

Home-based ministries give opportunities to share worship and biblical learning with families, without separating parents and children as readily as most programmatic ministries practiced within church facilities.

Many families who do attend church programs and worship are doing all they can to get to the building, and most of us know that our children fight tooth and nail to sleep in or stay home. I think most of us today long for more time at home, and less time fighting traffic and tight schedules. Programmatic ministry can be, and often are, effective, but how healthy is it for those families who rush home from work and school, then off to the church building with fast food in hand, all in the name of being “faithful?”

Home-based discipleship offers peace and less running around; it offers a time to sit and eat together in the comfort and genuine atmosphere of someone’s living space.

The Deuteronomy 6:7 principle seems to be more easily practiced in the more conducive setting of a house ministry, where the parents are not carted off to different classes and children aren’t left to the agendas and sometimes poor teaching of a typical Sunday school class.

With all of that said, I am not speaking at all of removing ourselves from congregational worship. Worshiping together is not only biblical; it is also essential for a healthy Christian body, as believers come together to pray for and with one another, to sing praises together, and to experience God as a community.

A man proudly stated to Dr. Samuel Shutz, Professor of Evangelism and Ministry at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, “I worship every Sunday on the golf course. I speak with God as I play, and I listen to worship music on my MP3 player.” Dr. Shutz responded, “Do you pray for others and experience the blessing of having them pray over you? Do you join your voice with other believers in praising God?” The man then responded, “I see your point. I am able to observe the Christian experience, but unable to experience it without being there.”

Living in a new day requires expressing and experiencing ministry in new ways. We can’t do it alone, and we shouldn’t separate the family. Parents and guardians must take their responsibility seriously to practice Deuteronomy 6:7 lifestyles.

In His dust,
Johnny

© 2009 Jonathan P. Gainey and Flock’s Diner.
All Rights Reserved

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ne of the best gifts God has given us is the ability to form and enjoy relationships. These take on many types including parents and children, personal friendships, romantic and professional relationships. Unfortunately, the joy and fulfillment of these relationships come to a crashing end when a loved one dies.

As Christians, we can find hope in verses such as John 16:22 which says, “So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice and no one will take away your joy.” Jesus was speaking to his disciples, preparing them for a time when they would “weep and morn while the world rejoices.” He prefaced His words with, “I meant what I said…” (John 16:19, NIV).

Jesus knows our life will include times of intense sorrow and pain as we suffer the losses of those we love. His words did not include quick and easy ways to pray this pain away, but, as I see it, an invitation to embrace our pain and grasp onto the hope that only He offers.

Later there will come a time when no one can take away our joy. In other words, now is not forever. Moreover, forever is coming and along with it comes permanent joy!

Jesus’ words are comforting and offer us an invitation to deepen our relationship with Him, a relationship that will never end. However, on this side of Heaven, coping with loss can feel at times unbearable, especially in the event that a death happens suddenly, such as the death of a child or in cases of a suicide, just to name a few.

Reactions to grief include physical, psychological, emotional, and behavioral symptoms that include weakness, loss of energy, loss of libido, angry outbursts, difficulty concentrating, fear, guilt, loss of ability to experience pleasure, and anxiety.

If you are traveling the road through grief (and towards joy), there are some things you can do to grieve healthy:

· Share your pain: As crude as it may sound, everyone experiences loss. Grieving with someone else can prove to lessen your feelings of loneliness and help you reclaim a fulfilling life for yourself.

· Know that the healing process is progressive and will include times of regression, in other words, healing from such a loss will not happen in a straight linear manner. There will be times (ok, days) of intense sadness, and even some days of happiness.

· Give yourself permission to feel: Those who study grief have come to one firm conclusion: Grief WILL be expressed one way or another. People who grieve healthy are able to admit these feelings, feel them, and grasp onto the hope that “now is not forever.”

In the meantime,
cry when you need to cry, scream when you need to scream, and laugh (yes, laugh) when you need to laugh. Do what you need to do when you need to do it.

· Keep decision making to a minimum: Expect your judgment to be clouded for a while. If you find that significant decisions need to be made now, find a trustworthy person to consult with such as a parent, pastor, friend, counselor, or teacher.

· Give yourself time to heal: In most cases, the closer you were to the person you lost, the more pain you will experience. Healing will come, but not tomorrow.

· Seek Comfort: For some this can be especially difficult. Accept help from those you trust. Healthy grieving always involves accepting love and support from others. Doing so is human and courageous.

Remember: NOW IS NOT FOREVER!

Jason Tompkins

Some of you may be like me in that you can be very emotionally affected by your imagination. I have a son who easily comes to tears simply by hearing of someone else’s pain. Recently I discovered, the hard way, that my daughter carries the same imaginative trait.

My little girl LOVES stories, books, movies, and anything else that has to do with princes and princesses. She’s one of those little girls who only wants to wear dresses, and she is constantly asking me to dance with her, pretending that I am the king and she is a princess. She often talks about getting married and how she’ll marry a prince. You know, the girly-girl type. On our recent trip to Disney World, my eyes welled up with tears on at least three occasions, because of how amazed she was when she saw the princes and princesses from the Disney movies.

Thinking my four-year-old would find it sweet, I told her of how one day she would grow up and get married in a beautiful princess dress to a wonderful man who loves God, loves her, loves children, enjoys learning, respects women, will have a great career…you know, all the virtues that men who marry our daughters usually have.

I then wanted to plant a seed of commitment into her small memory bank, so I went on to tell her that she will marry a great guy and stay married to him until she dies.

Have you ever said something to someone with the best of intentions that had just made you look like the biggest donkey on the farm?

I suddenly found myself in a dilemma.

My daughter’s eyes began to look into space, moving back and forth, and then, out of nowhere, she began to cry and said, “I don’t want to die.”

Then she kept asking questions about dying, such as, “What’s it like when I die?” “What does die mean?”

I was in trouble! I tried to backpedal, but it was too late.

For the next two days, she would say to me, “I don’t want to die, Daddy.” and every time she said it, my heart would drop.  

I would tell her, “You’re not going to die.” And then she would respond, “I’m never getting married, because I don’t want to die.”

Sometimes parents can really mess up, no matter how good the intentions.

Many blessings,
Johnny

© 2008 Jonathan P. Gainey and Flock’s Diner.
All Rights Reserved

Last year, I read Dr. Dobson’s book, Bringing Up Boys. In my opinion, Dobson is right on with his advice and insights.

One very funny insight has to do with the act of masturbation. He said that 97% of teenage boys indulge in this practice, and the other 3% have been known to lie. That is quite funny.

Another insight of Dobson’s is in the area of teenage boys getting into trouble. Do teenage boys get into trouble? Is a frog’s rear-end water tight?

Dobson brings up the point that teenage boys can get into more trouble in one day than anyone can fix in one year. It would be so wonderful if our children would recognize that a parent gives advice for no other reason than we love them more than anything or anyone else in the world. It’s unfortunate that our adolescent, inferior minds don’t allow us to recognize that our parents really do want the best for us.

I have a teenage son who got himself into more trouble last weekend than we may be able to fix in a lifetime. If only he had the ears to listen, he would have avoided the misery of this horrible situation.

“Listen, for I have worthy things to say; I open my lips to speak what is right. My mouth speaks what is true, for my lips detest wickedness. All the words of my mouth are just; none of them is crooked or perverse. To the discerning all of them are right; they are faultless to those who have knowledge. Choose my instruction instead of silver, knowledge rather than choice gold, for wisdom is more precious than rubies, and nothing you desire can compare with her” (Proverbs 8:6-11) NIV.

Have you ever wished your children would realize how much you as their parent and advisor only want the best for them? As a father, “I open my lips to speak what is right!”

In my estimation, it is not until we do what is right because it is the right thing to do that we are able to finally grasp the concept and value of wisdom. As long as we only do the right thing because it’s the rule or the law, we will continue to resist boundaries and see them as nothing more than obstacles to fun and personal fulfillment. The forbidden fruits of our world are all very different for each of us. We are not all tempted by the same sins, and each of us has a responsibility to learn the value of wisdom that will keep us from destroying ourselves.

Please pray for my oldest son.

Many blessings,
Johnny

© 2008 Jonathan P. Gainey and Flock’s Diner.
All Rights Reserved

Kids, children, offspring, dependents….they are so important and so valuable to the world. Even the ancient Jews would say that the world exists by the breath of school children.

Most of us have seen the encouragement that is given on car bumber stickers that say something like, “Proud parent of a terrific kid!” Wow! That must be encouraging to the children in that family, if they even notice it.

Society gives us so much advice about encouraging our children. Millions of book titles share the insights and wisdom of great doctors like James Dobson who share there highly educated, and desperately needed advice for raising healthy children.

There is everything right with the idea of encouraging our children.

Maybe there is also something to be said for children being taught how to encourage the adults and parents in their lives. Maybe there could be a class for kids on how to empower healthy, happy parents.

Children often become frustrated when they are held to strict rules and rigid boundaries. However, those rules and boundaries are usually based on the measure of trust afforded by a particular child. The more a parent or other adult in authority trusts a particular child, the less constricting the rules.

In the spirit of Deuteronomy 5:16a, I would appreciate seeing some new bumper stickers that encourage parents.

“Proud kid of terrific parents!”                                       

Blessings to all  of the parents and guardians of the world!

Johnny

© 2007 Jonathan P. Gainey and Flock’s Diner.
All Rights Reserved

I am enjoying Rob Bell’s new book, Sex God. In his book, Bell discusses the connections between sexuality and spirituality.

Rob Bell points out that human beings are neither angels nor mere animals.

Animals are controlled by their DNA and environment. They are purely physical with very little if any ability to deny their impulses for mating, eating, et cetera. Angels, according to the Bible, were created before human beings and are said to be spiritual beings lacking a physical dimension.

 Human beings are given both a spiritual and physical body with which to use when making decisions for every situation of life. Angels do not mate or have other physical desires. Animals cannot resist mating except by a force of their environment. Animals merely respond to their genetic propensities to mate, nurture their young, hunt, eat, release waste, and sleep. Even animals with amazing abilities are simply responding to genetic codes that have predetermined those extraordinary abilities.

Most human beings would agree that hunger does not force us to eat, nor does the need to populate force females to perform mating rituals in front of males or males to violently ward off other male competition for the right to mate. We can choose when, with whom, how often, and where we will eat and mate despite the intensity of our genetic urges.

Those who believe that sex is something that should be avoided for life in order to live closer to God are attempting to be angels. By doing so, they deny one of the most beautiful gifts that make us human. While those who believe that sex should not be denied for any reason, such as waiting for marriage, are giving up their humanity to become mere creatures of basic instinct. When we respond to our physical desires with complete celibacy or indulgence, we are choosing to live a non-human existence.

Rob reminds his readers that celibacy before marriage is often mocked and ridiculed by those who claim that sex is a natural act and should not be restrained, nor should we expect young people to have the ability to resist the urge to have sex. Those who believe this are saying, in essence, that humans are nothing more than beasts who can no more deny their urges than a monkey in the jungle.

Are we to believe that people are not capable of having a standard of behavior, and that human beings are nothing more than a flashier form of DNA?

I would suggest that whether we believe God created men and women as we appear today or we are the result of millions of years of natural, genetic enhancement that, as the prime species of our planet, we do have the ability to choose standards for our behavior.

 Forever learning,
Johnny

© 2007 Jonathan P. Gainey and Flock’s Diner.
All Rights Reserved

“To claim to have fellowship with God, and at the same time to walk in darkness, is to speak and act a lie” (1 John 1:6).

To offer a very quick word study, let’s look at three important words from the text I referenced above.
Fellowship, as it is used in this passage of Scripture has the contemporary meaning of partnership.
Walk refers to going about in a constant state.
Darkness in this sense of the word means: not easily seen; not clear or distinct: Not easily understood; vague.

John is teaching the readers of this letter that they cannot claim to be partners of Jesus Christ and mope around like they have nothing to excitedly share with the world. It’s no different than if a married man or woman claims to be married, but walks around like they have no one with whom to enjoy life.

I believe that this passage of Scripture, among others, affirms the love language of Jesus. Maybe you have read the book, The Five Love Languages. If so, then you will know that Dr. Gary Chapman teaches that people respond to five basic love languages, and often a mixture of at least two of them. Chapman refers to the five love languages as gifts, touch, acts of service, words of affirmation, and quality time.

So, how do we speak Jesus’ love language?

The best way to strengthen our relationship with Christ is by serving and looking out for others. Jesus taught his disciples, “Whatever you do to even the least of God’s children, you have done it to me, the King.”

Marvin R. Wilson wrote in his book, Our Father Abraham Jewish Roots of the Christian Faith, “The Bible’s vital humanism teaches us to regard God’s passion for human beings. It calls God’s people to bear responsibility and care for each other. The Hasidic masters taught that the eventual goal of social justice is the fullest realization of…repairing the world.”

When we are busy repairing the world, we are making great investments in our relationship with Christ. If Jesus has a love language, it is not gifts, words of affirmation, quality time, or touch; it is the acts of service we give to his sheep, which covers them all. In essence, the way to love Jesus is to love others.

Forever Learning,

Johnny

© 2007 Jonathan P. Gainey and Flock’s Diner.
All Rights Reserved

Genesis 2:18, 20 tell us that woman is created to be ezer kenegdo. Rabbi David Freedman points out that the word ezer (ay-zer), which is often translated “helper” more literally means “power” or “strength” which is the same rendering that it is given in other parts of the Hebrew Bible. He also explains that kenegdo, which is translated “suitable for him” is better translated “one equal to him” which is found in other ancient Hebrew writings.

The clarity of understandings provided by the original Hebrew meanings of this passage help us to understand that woman was not created to be merely a helper for her husband, but a powerful partner with her husband. It is that powerful partnership that gives her, who is often called to have children, the ability to accomplish the incredible task of being a mother.

And motherhood is often accompanied by the tendencies to harbor guilt. This guilt is reinforced by the fact that some lies are so old that people have a hard time accepting that they are not true. Mothers are going to have to start throwing away some of these lies. Among all of the expectations that God places on mothers, perfection is not one of them. Many mothers live with years and years of guilt that are placed on them by the world. Guilt has a way of ripping the strength out of the amazing creation that is the female.

We all do well to recognize and appreciate the amazing power that women bring to all kinds of relationships. I am wonderfully blessed by the powerful partner that God has given me in my wife.

For those mothers who have a tendency to be self-punishing because of the struggles of motherhood, I will close with a couple of quotes.
“If it was going to be easy to raise kids, it never would have started with something called labor.” –Anonymous

“Sunshine without rain is the recipe for a desert. –Arab Proverb

Forever learning,
Johnny

© 2007 Jonathan P. Gainey and Flock’s Diner.
All Rights Reserved

I took my daughter to the cemetery near our house recentely, and we walked through the green grass, looking at all of the grave markers. I have always been intrigued by graveyards. I love to read the names and the years of their births and deaths, and try to imagine what their lives must have been like when they were alive.

I am especially curious when I read dates that reflect their births as being before the end of American slavery and their deaths being after slavery. How strange of a life they must have lived with all of the changes in such a time as the existance and abolition of humans owning humans. Disgusting sin!

As Ella and I walked through the graveyard, I would point out the grave markers of infants and tell her, “Here is where a little baby was buried. The baby died.” She really couldn’t understand exactly what I was saying, because she is not even three-years-old. But she did a very strange thing.

Every time I showed her a grave marker of an infant, she would sit on the grave marker, pull up a hand full of grass, pull the grass cupped in her hands toward her chest and cuddle it, while saying, “It’s okay, baby. It’s okay.”

I swear, it took every bit of control I had to keep from crying.

I think females are the most amazing creatures that God has placed on the earth, no matter what their age.

Forever experiencing God through my children,
Johnny

© 2007 Jonathan P. Gainey and Flock’s Diner.
All Rights Reserved